I am one of those people who’ve battled with questions such as this: If God is really good, then why does He let bad things happen to innocent? Or to the righteous?
I went through a time in my life where I really questioned God’s goodness. I questioned His love.
But what I was really asking was, “Where was God when I was a terrified little girl on the hard barn floor? Where was He as I stared at the rafters, trying to distance myself from the man who towered over me? Where was He in all the pain and confusion?”
Then one day, God began to help me process those questions in a unique way.
My husband came home from work to find his very emotional wife greet him at the door. (Yes, I can’t tell you how many times that’s happened.) His eyes were full of compassion, as always. He asked me what was wrong.
“Sweetheart,” I began, “where was God when that happened to me?” He knew right away what I was talking about. Back then, it was hard for me to talk about the rape.
He looked at me as he washed his hands in the sink. I watched his face light up with sudden inspiration.
“Just a minute,” he said, walking into the kitchen.
I waited, wondering what in the world he was doing.
He soon returned, carefully balancing a spoon in his hand.
“Open your mouth,” he said.
“But what do you have on that spoon?” I questioned. I pinched my lips tightly together. I wasn’t going to try anything without knowing what it was. I figured it was probably vinegar or red pepper or something awful like that.
“Honey, open your mouth, please,” he said again.
I stubbornly obeyed.
“This is what God tastes like.” He lifted the spoon to my mouth.
PHOTO BY CATHY SCOLA VIA GETTY IMAGES
As soon as the honey hit my mouth, I began to cry. A still, small voice inside of me said, “Ann, taste and see that I am good. Blessed are those who trust in Me.”
Ben’s eyes were bright as he watched the Light dawn on me.
Then he quietly said, “You know what? God is even sweeter than the honey you just tasted. He is good, all of the time. He is making something beautiful out of the ugly. Remember, He loves you.”
I nodded as the tears trickled down my cheeks.
For a minute, all was silent.
“Sweetheart, where did you get that idea?” I asked, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
“What idea? The honey on your tongue?”
“At work today. We were talking about Jewish traditions. One of the ways that the Jews teach their children about the goodness of God and the sweetness of His Word is by giving them a teaspoon of honey on their tongue.”
I’d be lying if I’d say that this was the last time I ever struggled to believe that God is good. I am so human. Sometimes when things aren’t going well and life feels like it’s about to fall apart, I look up into my husband’s eyes and ask, “Ben, is God good?”
And without hesitation, he replies, “Yes, He is. All the time.”
Though I have those times when I need to choose to believe the truth that God is good, I am beginning to feel it in my spirit. To me, that is exciting.
Believing that God is good and choosing to trust Him go hand-in-hand; for you cannot trust God without a strong confidence and belief that He is good – no matter what.
I’m convinced that if we have a strong core belief in the goodness and sovereignty of God, we will be able to rest in that belief even when our lives “fall apart” overnight. When we wade through the question of “where was God when this happened” we will not become bitter because we have that assurance in our spirit that He is good. When life leaves us feeling completely powerless, our faith will not be crushed.
You see, we don’t have to understand “why” when we believe that He is good all the time.
I don’t know what you are facing today, but if you’re like me, sometimes I just need a little reminder that God loves me and that He is good all the time – no matter what happens. And because He is good, I can trust His heart even when I don’t understand the “why”.
“O taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the man who trusts in him.” Ps. 34:8